Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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