My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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