nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
soo... how was my night?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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