its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
