If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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