My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
