i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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