Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
not ubering you a puppy
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
