so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
