I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
