You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
