i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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