yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
