fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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