I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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