I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
