Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
