theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize