there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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