i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
