just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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