There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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