I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
