I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
