Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
