: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
