So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize