oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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