Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
