I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's blow job season.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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