Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
