ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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