oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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