You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
