I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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