____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
