Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize