i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
