We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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