Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
