I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize