your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize