Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
