Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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