As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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