This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
