youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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