Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
