My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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