Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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