Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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