3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
