so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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