people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
