apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
