Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
