Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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