One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
