i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
