I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
