You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
