If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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