My nipple is on Facebook.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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