Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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