I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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