Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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