Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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