he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
