So drunk, too bad you don't want this
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
