I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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